My Little Book of Days (Day 1)

August 30, 2012
       School started this week to clear blue skies and warmer temperatures. I didn’t care for it one bit. A major reason I moved away from Orange County was to escape the sun. The sun and I have not been on speaking terms in many a year.
        I used to have a ritual (my friends & I, really). Every Sunday of every summer we would go to Huntington Beach State Beach. We usually parked out on Brookhurst and hiked the half mile to the sand, to avoid paying for parking. We always set up “Base Camp” between Lifeguard Towers 5 and 6.
      I never had a ‘beach body’, but I was far thinner then. I wore my hair long (it was the eighties). Those summers bleached my long straight hair to nearly white.
      We would body surf, and play Frisbee, and, if we had enough bodies, we would play beach football. I discovered something remarkable about myself during those football games. I could run on sand.
      And I mean I could run fast. I gots me some big ole’ feet. Size thirteen. And my feet are wide, with a wicked arch. I played sports in high school, but never excelled. On the sand, I ran like the wind. My friends were shocked. Especially when I tackled them.
      But, in the intervening years, my relationship with the beach and the sun in particular, has soured. I can’t take the heat anymore. And I lived in fuckin’ Bakersfield for two summers (another story for another time).
      I suffer in anything over 75 degrees. I spent the last 7 years living in Garden Grove, California, in an apartment that defied physics with its lack of air movement. We purchased HUGE fans and set them in the windows and the front door, and still had nary a breeze in there. As the temperature broke into the triple digits, it was like part of my brain would stop working.
      In September of 2010, I was cast in a stage production of “Night of the Living Dead” at The Maverick Theater in Fullerton, California. I was “The Big Zombie”. Some of the most fun I’ve ever had on stage. The first rehearsal I attended was a fight rehearsal. In my big scene I was supposed to break down a door, knocking down the hero, pick him up by his belt and bodily hurl him across the stage. That’s just how it started. Great fun. But, that first night, it was about 95 degrees in the theater. Rehearsal ran until midnight and it never got any cooler.
      I have this wonderful little thing we, in the business, call “Flop Sweat”. It doesn’t trickle down my brow. It runs. In rivulets. I leave quarter sized drops on the stage floor. Under those hot lights, I DARE you to not sweat. Everybody does. It’s just that with me, it is ridiculous.
       While I was rehearsing NOTLD, I was also working as a carpenter on the build for Knott’s Berry Farm’s Halloween Haunt AKA Knott’s Scary Farm. We would work 5am to 1pm. All the work was outdoors in the brutal heat of a Buena Park summer. I would drink 2 gallons of water everyday in that 8 hour shift. And that doesn’t include the Gatorade-like drinks they provided for us. At least I wasn’t alone in my suffering there. There was another big, bald, fat guy there they had nicknamed “Puddles”. I managed to keep the nickname I came in with “SMASH!” (Another story for another day).
       In those hot OC summers I would daydream about moving somewhere cooler. Maybe somewhere with snow. I’ve had very little experience with snow. Maybe I’d love it. Maybe I’d hate it. Life is funny.
      Well, here I am. Sitting at my computer in my San Francisco apartment. I glance slightly to the left of the monitor and I can see Lake Merced, less than half a mile from here. On a clear day I can see the Pacific beyond Merced. But, not today. Today is what I would call “normal San Francisco foggy”. I can see the campus of SFSU to the South, and Lake Merced directly to the West. We measure the fog by what we lose. Some days we lose the Lake. On the really heavy days, the campus disappears into the gloom.
      I love it.
     Give me the fog and the gloom and the rain. Oh! The rain! The first month we were here it rained like Hell. It was amazing. Watching the lightning over Fort Funston through our floor to ceiling living room windows was amazing. I would turn off all the light and just watch the show.
      Thank you, San Francisco. Thank you for welcoming a former child of the sun into your gloomy arms.

Elemental Comedy

Two incidents, from my real life, that I found amusing enough to share.

The first occurred when I worked at Ameriquest Mortgage Company. I was an Operations Analyst, which at the time meant I wandered around looking for people that needed things tinkered with, electronically speaking. During one of my wanderings, I ran across a couple of co-workers discussing a land survey that was sent in on a loan we had been processing. The survey stated that the soil the house was on had been tested and it was discovered that it contained high levels of Arsenic. The ladies were baffled. How did it get there? Was it toxic waste? A chemical spill? Had someone poisoned the soil? Who would do that?
I stepped inside the office, asking for clarification. Yup, arsenic in the soil.
“You know Arsenic is an element, right?”
“What?”
“An element. It occurs in nature. Nobody put it there.”

The second occurred years earlier, with my brother. I was telling him about I had recently gotten a piercing. The curious sort, he asked me what I was doing to take care of it.
“Are using hydrogen peroxide on it?”
“No, I clean it twice a day with Betadine.”
His brow creased, “And what’s the active ingredient in that?”
“Iodine.”
“And what’s the active ingredient in that?”
Now it was my turn for the creased brow. Was he kidding?
“Um, electrons…”
“What?”
“It’s an element.”
“Are you sure?”
Damn it. He was making me doubt myself.
“I’m pretty sure. Yeah, it’s an element.”

That was some ten years ago, but moments like that stick with you.

Just set up mobile posting. I'll probably be posting here more often.

BACK FOR ITS 5th YEAR!

“IT. IS. EXCELLENT!”
- OC WEEKLY

“CHOCK-FULL OF

GENUINE HORROR”
“…the shocks keep a-comin' in this inventive staging.”
- ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER

Adapted & Directed by Brian Newell

OCTOBER 1st - 30th

2010

8:00pm

Halloween Week, Sun 24th, Tues 26th, - Thur 28th

TICKETS $20.00

Students with current ID $10

Zombie SMASH!

My First Comic Con

First of all, I wasn't sure I was going to be able to go until Thursday afternoon. I was given the heads up that it was a possibility about 2 weeks ago, but I never thought I'd get that lucky.
I've been wanting to go to Comic Con since High School, so 20 years now. Never made it. When I had time, I had no money. When I had money, no time. As it turns out, I had no money this time, but when a pass drops in your lap, you go.
Maile had her pass lined up for about a month. I was pretty bummed that she was going without me, but what are you going to do. But it worked out, so I drove.
We got up at 5am Friday, gassed up the van, grabbed some Jack in the Box and hit the road. Maile decided that we should park at Jack Murphy Stadium (now called Qualcomm for some reason) and take the train in. I highly recommend. the parking was free and shady, and the trolley afforded a nice view of San Diego.
I should mention that Maile dressed up as a Gryffindor from Harry Potter, and it pleased her to no end that we were taking the train in. She kept talking about the Hogwarts Express and station nine and three quarters.
We had a great moment on the train, while people watching. Obviously, most of the people on the train were headed to the Con. outside the window, we spotted some kids in strange costumes. They didn't make our train, so we didn't get a chance to ask them what the HELL they were wearing. One was dressed like a Japanese girl and another like Italy. I don't mean she was dressed Italian, I mean it looked like she was trying to BE Italy. A Personification. We debated it with the random people on the train with us. Then I rapped on the glass, getting the kids' attention. I held up my camera and they posed. The rest of the ride we tried to figure it out. I joked that there was probably a kid running around dressed as Germany and they were the Axis Kids...
We met Atomic Steve in front of the Convention Hall, and I got my pass and we hit the floor. Atomic wanted to say hi to his friend Kelly, who is this year's Miss Horrorfest. We hung out there for a while, then wondered around. We met up with our friend Clair, who dressed as classic Princess Leia (White dress with hair buns). People were taking her picture all day. She never smiled for the photos "She never smiled in this dress." Crazy Claire.
Around 11am, we got in line for the "The Big Bang Theory" panel discussion. It was the one of the 2 things Maile & I HAD to see, the other being the Dollhouse panel. They were both in the same room, 3 hours apart, so we camped.
We waited in line for 2 hours, making friends with the people around us. Then it happened! The random Axis Kids walked by! I flagged them over to us. "What are you?" They laughed and explained that they were dressed as characters from an anime series called "Hetalia: Axis Powers",( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hetalia_Axis_Powers) in which all the characters are personifications of World War II Countries. WTF? I was RIGHT? There is nothing so strange that there isn't an Anime about it...
We finally got into Ballroom 20 for the Big Bang panel. Awesome-sauce. They played a clip reel from the show before the panel, that brought down the house. After that, there was no question this showed belonged at Comic Con.
The actors and creators were awesome. The panel was moderated by Mike Mingola, the creator of Hellboy. Apparently he is a big fan of the show. It was so obvious that they all love the show and enjoy each others company. At one point a fan asked Jim Parsons (Sheldon Cooper) to explain the game Rock-Paper-Scissors-Lizard-Spock, and he admitted that it was the hardest scene he had ever done in the show. I can only imagine!
We didn't want to leave and get back in line for the Dollhouse panel, so we stayed all afternoon in Ballroom 20. I don't think we would have ever gotten back in otherwise.
Next was the panel for '24'. In the 7 years the show has been on, I think I've seen an episode and a half. I love the concept of the show, it just never fit in my schedule. I thought it would at least be entertaining. It was rather dull, expect for the new cast members. Freddie Prince, jr. who had the funniest accidental moment of the night. He was talking about how he had always been a fan of the show. He said he remembered sitting back and watching season one with his wife... that was as far as he got before the audience exploded into applause. In case you didn't know, he is married to Sarah Michelle Geller, TV's Buffy the Vampire Slayer. He started laughing. "I forgot. She's kind of popular here."
The other new cast member: Katee Sackhoff! Starbuck from the new Battlestar Galactica. Oh My God, she is gorgeous! She is hilarious, too. Everyone else on the panel was really dry, but she lit up the stage (can you tell I have a bit of a crush?).
After 24 was the panel for Bones. We told ourselves, at least it will have David Boreanaz. No such luck, his wife is 36 weeks pregnant and he didn't want to leave town. The panel consisted of Emily Deschanel (the title character) and the creator of the show. And it was more entertaining that 24. The clip reel was GROSS! Maile couldn't even look at the screen.
I should mention that between Big Bang and 24 we moved seats and met up with Maile's friend Lindsey. Lindsey sold Maile her extra ticket, and it turns out we know a lot of people in common, including Miracle from Dollhouse. She knew her in Junior High, while I met her at OCC.
The Dollhouse panel was amazing. First of all, Joss Whedon just walked on stage, no lights fading, no introduction, no warning. The audience went nuts. Obviously.
Joss introduced the "13th" episode of Dollhouse. We got to watch the entire thing, which is pretty awesome. It was obvious watching it that they never expected to get renewed for another season. It is a complete and total mindfuck. I won't spoil it, since it is going to be on the DVDs, but talk about a game changer.
The panel consisted of Joss & Eliza. No moderator, just them talking about the show. The audience questions ran the gamut. From "Why do you kill all my favorite characters?" which I bet he gets ever year, to a little girl who started her question "This question is for Echo.." Eliza just melted. It was an awesome time.
We finally got back to the floor about an hour before close. We all went our separate ways, so as not to waste each others time. I just kind of wandered. I saw a display of "The Tick" comic books and checked it out. While I was standing there a guy walked over and told me that one of the writers was there. Along with Ben Edlund. The creator of the Tick. Writer for Angel. Creator of Bad Horse. WHAT? I walked over.
"Are you Ben Edlund?"
"Yes"
"I'm going to shake your hand. You are a messed up MoFo!"
He laughed.
"I appreciated that." Which we both said at pretty much the same time.
I'm still kicking myself for not bringing my Tick comics for him to sign. In my defense, I had about 12 hours notice.
I wandered some more. Spotted Lou Ferrigno. Saw some cool models. Then I found the Chessex Booth. All the dice in the world! Let's face it, I have more than enough dice, but this is my world. Then I found one I had to have. A big d-12 with hit locations instead of numbers. Moo-Wah-Ha! Maile bought it for me (since I is broke).
We tracked down Atomic and I gave back the pass. Said hi to Skye and her son (It's always nice to be in a strange place and hear "JOE SMASH!").
I finally made plans with my friends Joe & Rebecca (Whom I had been playing Text-Tag with all day). Maile, Claire & I walked a couple of blocks to a local pub and had dinner with Joe & Rebecca. The last time I'm SURE I saw them was at their wedding. In 2003.
We hung out for an hour or two, catching up and getting to know each other. Everybody got along great. Finally, we said good night and walked back to the train.
It had been a long, long day, but a memorable one. I definitely want to go next year. I hope I can.

PS. We spotted Lou Ferrigno on the street walking to the train. Too strange.

Dogs

Josh, Maile & I saw “Marley & Me” last night down at Downtown Disney. It is a beautifully sweet movie about a couple’s life with a big dumb dog. One scene in particular sticks in my mind. John (Own Wilson) takes the still-puppy Marley down to a sidewalk café on Miami Beach to meet with a friend and co-worker. A couple beach bunnies stop to pet the puppy. The friend is a letch and starts flirting with the girls. Suddenly, Marley stops a flock of pigeons on the sand. It’s ON!
What we see shortly after is this beautiful shot of this big white puppy hauling ass down the beach, right along the water. To a dog-lover like me, it’s almost heartbreaking. It’s the perfect picture of Pure Joy.
It makes me think of all the dogs that have come and gone in my life.
As small child, we had a pair of German Shepherds, King and Ginger. I have hazy memories of King, but Ginger I remember. She had a sort of nobility that only a Shepherd can pull off. She is famous for stealing the Thanksgiving turkey right off the table (Not really noble, but funny looking back). From what I’m told, she also didn’t like cops and tried to take out the front door trying to get to one once. During a camping trip in the bus (my father once bought an old school bus and converted it to a redneck RV; I can’t even begin to explain…) Ginger snuck off and died in the woods.
When I was about 7 or 8 my big brother brought home a big dumb white Labrador he called Gandalf (I didn’t get the reference for about 6 years). Gandalf was a big dumb dog, but filled with unconditional love. He would love to jump on me, planting his huge front paws on my shoulders, and lick my face. When he was up like that, he was taller than I was at the time. The first time he did it was terrifying. After that, it was pretty much the only direct expression of affection I received (aside from Mom, ya know).
My brother moved out and took Gandalf with him, so I don’t know what became of the big dumb dog. Next came my sister Grace’s dog, Lady. Lady was a tiny thing, perfect for a young girl. I don’t remember any wackiness with Lady, but she did have one litter of puppies. 3 puppies running around our house. Pure bliss. I remember staging puppy races with my sisters in the living room. We gave the puppies away, so I don’t remember much about them. I remember one was named Charlie (named after the family ghost, another story).
For many years after that we had no dogs. Hell, we had no home (yet another story that you will have to ask to find out). When we finally got a house, as I was starting High School, we had cats. Dozens of cats. I shit you not. Then Grace got Butch. Butch was a Pit Bull/Black Lab mix. I’d thought Gandalf was dumb. Butch ran into walls. I’d swear there was not a brain in his thick head. The greatest thing was learning that I could control him with just the sound of my voice. I remember days, sitting in the living room, watching a little TV, and hearing my sister in the kitchen. Butch was supposed to be a outside dog, but he was rambunctious. I could hear her yelling at him: “Butch! Butch! Get out! Butch! Butch!” Then a long pause. “Joe…”
“BUTCH!”
Followed by the sound of the dog scurrying out of the house. Grace would always, begrudgingly thank me. Comedy.
When I left home after High School, I moved to Bakersfield with Josh. We moved into a house that belonged to a friend’s grandparents. The house came with two dogs. A Boston Terrier named Tiger, that Josh immediately re-named “Spud” and Butch (popular name apparently) an ancient Wolfhound. That Butch was an amazing animal to me. He was huge. Lumbering. Grand. But, very, very old. He’d slowed down (I assume). Spud would leap around yapping at him incessantly. Then, every once in a while, you’d just hear a yelp. Butch’s big-ass paw would be on top of Spud’s head. Butch never bared a tooth, Spud was just an annoyance after all.
Josh told me later that one day, after I’d moved out, Butch just left. The side gate was open and he was gone. We assumed he’d just decided it was time. Dogs just do that.
More than anything right now, I want a dog. I want a puppy. I want a big house with a yard. And something that will love me unconditionally…

Jungle Book Opening Night

Just got home from Opening Night of Jungle Book.
I'm supposed to be a writer, I should be able to put this feeling into words...
Amazing. The cast was awesome. The audience loved it. My niece Ellie even got up on stage for the Monkey song.
I was very proud to see some powerful moments going on up there.
As soon as the show started, you something different was going on. The dozen or so cast members rush the stage and clamber up the jungle gym of a set. Bad Ass.
Listening to a full house of actors & audience howling together gave me goosebumps.
I can't wait to see it again.